Originally Posted 06/24/09
Still think Men and
Women are alike?
PERFECT DAY FOR HER
8.15 Wake up to
hugs and kisses.
8.30 Weigh in 2kg lighter than yesterday.
8.45 Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and
open presents - expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful
9.15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil.
10.00 Light work out at club with handsome funny personal trainer.
10.30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry.
12.00 Lunch with best friend a fashionable outdoor cafe.
12.45 Catch sight of husband/boyfriend's ex and notice she's
1.00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit.
4.00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist, card is from secret
4.15 Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but
hunk who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body.
5.30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade
7.30 Candlelit dinner for two followed by dancing, with
received from other diners/dancers.
10.00 Hot shower (alone).
10.50 Carried to bed..........(freshly ironed, crisp, new, white
11.00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.
11.15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms.
PERFECT DAY FOR HIM
6.15 Blow job.
6.30 Take a very satisfying and absolute Monster dump while
7.00 Breakfast: rump steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked
naked wench who bends over a lot showing her growler.
7.30 Limo arrives.
7.45 Flight in personal Lear Jet.
9.15 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route).
9.45 Play front nine - 2 under.
11.45 Lunch - pie, chips and gravy, 3 lagers and a bottle of Dom
12.15 Blow job.
12.30 Play back nine (of golf course) - 4 under.
2.15 Limo back to the airport (Several Bourbons).
2.30 Fly to
3.30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew, all
also bend over a lot displaying growlers.
4.30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs) - on light tackle.
5.00 Fly home, massage and blow job by naked Elle McPherson
6.45 Shit, Shower and Shave.
7.00 Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated; marijuana and hard
7.30 Dinner: lobster appetizer, Dom Perignon (1953) big juicy
followed by ice-cream served on a big pair of tits.
9.00 Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies.....some
11.00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing
11.45 In bed alone.
11.50 A 12 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the
leave the room.
12.00 Spend 10 mins laughing before falling asleep.
How to Shower Like a Woman (Posted 8/2/07)
off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
lights and darks.
to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along
the way, cover up any exposed areas.
at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do
more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber
and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to
make sure it's clean.
your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs.
off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
mold spots with Tilex.
out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
hair in super absorbent towel.
entire body for zits; tweeze hairs.
to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you
see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
To Shower Like a Man
off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in
naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener
at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your
wiener and scratch your ass.
in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your
butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
off and get out of shower. Partially dry off.
to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub
the whole time.
wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on
floor, light and fan on.
to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off
towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
wet towel on bed.